Boys. short and simple. Yes, I could have thought of something a bit more clever, but no I did not. Boys.

I am exhausted with guys. Especially the type of guys that find your friends more attractive or least think they have the audacity to tell you how "hot" your friends are. Are we meant to find that one true love or that one person that truly fits us? Or all guys the same when it comes to the game of "dating?" 

Why is it so hard for girls to get the picture?! When a guy tells you "he doesn't see you more than just a friend", that kind of means he doesn't see you more than just a friend. Why is it so hard for us, girls to let that seep into our retarded brains? Why do we keep our hopes so high, knowing that we will be left heart-broken after wards. Its because we are stupid and we are hopeless romantics. Even if we do not want to be, we are. We assume that the movies and tv shows that we watch are what we should strive for. We read soapy love stories and novels because we assume that's how men should act. No, girls! Chivalry is dead. Or its very, very rare. 

 

SIDE TRACK:

I know this past year as been like hell to me. With all the Preston shit I had to let myself deal with. But I feel like I am way more stronger and better than that. Even though Joyce may think otherwise, I really do think I can handle the next guy. So what if I'm attracted to Austin? So what if hes already told me he doesn't like and its obvious I want more? So what? I'll be fine. Why doesn't anybody believe me when I tell them? What if they are wrong? What if he does find me attractive in that way? What if we date? What if it gets more serious? What if he is the one? "Only time will tell" is what I hear all the damn time. And its true, you can't speed up love or even friendships in that matter. I truly like Austin as a friend right now. He knows a lot about me than Preston ever did! Preston never gave me the chance to talk about my family or my life or how I feel about things. I wish I had more opinions. I wish I could have intelligent conversations with Austin. Maybe if I stopped and took a moment to observe and think about the world maybe he could find me more interesting. I am so absolutely boring! I don't find myself interesting at all. What if I become alone? What if nobody wants to pursue me. That is exactly how people become alone. They are always pessimistic. I'm not and I can't be. That is not my nature. I love feeling that something good will come out from something bad. Even if its the longest hell ride ever. 

Well I finally got my hair done...what a relief!!

I have recently finished one WHOLE week of summer II session and it feels like Ive been in school for THREE MONTHS!

Summer school sucks.

I mean I'm doing well in my classes....well im not sure about Anatomy...but I know in my other classes im passing with flying colors!! I'm just glad I finished Summer I session...but

Summer school sucks!

Good thing I'll be heading back to New York in August...I need to a REAL VACATION! My whole summer consists of sleep, school, study, sleep, more study, and more school.

I have work but Ive been only working weekends because of school...I hope the managers dont start to not like me...I mean they should know that Education is my first priority right now...but I guess they dont...look where they are now!...

Sorry..but really I'm not planning to work there for the rest of my life...

So theres nothing new going...no boyfriend in case you were wondering...which you probably werent...

it's not that I dont want one, its just I havent found the right guy..I dont know if I'm just picky or unlucky.
probably both! hah

Well signing off now.

So today I decided to look back at my old entries. And after reading some of them....I realized how stupid and lame I sounded. So I'm starting a new entry...

Why am I starting a new entry?? Well I'm not really sure why but, I do miss writing about whats happening in my life... i guess.

Well I'm in college now. Freshman. The 1st semester has passed and I am soo relieved! It was probably my hardest semester ever. Probably because everything is so new and my study habits were not working. However the good thing about college is that the School is a lot bigger than Gorman and Ive met a lot of new people!

I did join a sorority for like a few days. I had to leave basically because my mother didnt believe in the whole sorority life and plus it was a bit expensive. I think it would have been really awesome to join and become sisters with those girls but I am content with where I am now. Maybe one day I'll make time (and money) to join that sorority, but I dont know when that will be.

Some people think that joining sororites and such are the only way to meet people and make friends, but theyre wrong. Ive met many of my new friends in class and outside of school. I couldnt ask for anyone better! Plus I still keep in contact with my closest friends from high school and those Ive known for a long time. I dont need thousands of friends....dont got enough money to buy them christmas present anyway!!!...jk!

So life is pretty good. Got friends. Got my family...even though theres been a whole lot of ups and downs..but you gotta still love them!

oh and Love...no love connections right now...and I'm not too sad. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I dont want to be depressed just because I have no significant other to fond over. I mean...I'm not going to lie....there are times where I'll ask myself why dont have a boyfriend??!..Whats wrong with me?? What do I have to do change myself to make them like me??? But I DONT HAVE TO. I rather just be myself. When the time comes Ill be ready.

Recently I got a job...with the help of Joyce. At first I didnt know if I wanted to do it and I didnt know if I had the time to do it either, but I'm glad I finally committed to it. I enjoy working at Build-A-Buddy. Everyone is super nice and I can do my homework which is pretty nice! Too bad it will be closing in May, but maybe if I like it enough...I might want to work at Build- A- Bear! hmmm

Well I'm about to sign off now and finish up studying for Anatomy! whoo!

Goodnight.

               Kris.